Well after nearly six years of not blogging I've decided to get at it again. I didn't have a choice really, this is all happening because of the crazy notion my husband has that if I wrote a book or blogged we would someday be rich and famous. He recently saw a local news segment featuring two stay at home moms like me who were bringing in big bucks just for blogging about their families and lives. He immediately turned to me and told me that I should be doing that. I felt a bit of pressure to comply and hopefully somehow contribute to our family's income. The problem is that these woman looked like they had perfect lives with one perfect child and all the time in the world. That is not really my reality. Knowing me, and how I am truly an open book, I will no doubt fill you in on all the details of my life, my kids, my bad habits and pretty much anything you do and maybe don't want to know about me. I guess if this blog is going to take off and make me rich and famous like the Pioneer Woman and those other ladies, then I better just clear a few things up right now so that one day my empire does not go down in flames like Paula Deen because of my past.
First of all I swear like a sailor, but truly am a Christ loving Christian. I hate this quality most about myself and vow each morning to clean up my mouth, but somewhere along the way fail miserably. To some this could make me a hypocrite, but it's truly a bad habit I picked up from my dad and after all you do learn to talk from your parents..right? Good Lord, that means my kids will do the same...pray for me on this one would ya?
Secondly, I had a very colorful past full of promiscuity and drinking (and perhaps other extra-curricular activities and or drugs) during my youth and young adulthood. Fortunately for me I did meet Jesus along the way and was able to clean up my act. I do not judge others for their past because mine could come up to haunt me at anytime for sure.
Well let's see...so far I sound like a real gem. Can you picture me in my torn fishnets, with a cig hanging out of my mouth, a bottle in my hand yelling profanity to the guy walking past the bar I am at. I bet you wouldn't believe I actually don't drink or smoke. I pretty much wear the stay at home mom uniform of jeans and a cotton short sleeved or long sleeved shirt (depending on the season) and I live in the suburbs with my husband of 22 years, our seven adopted kids and 3 really loud, smelly, way too spoiled dogs. I just really want this out there so that one day when I am on Jimmy Fallon talking about my latest book and cooking show, he doesn't surprise me by telling me I am being sued by someone who was in my past and has it out for me because they are jealous and want a piece of my action.
To round out this confession I must point out that I have two very beautiful black children whom I adore, but am pretty sure that at some point in my forty-three years I have said the "N" word. I am not proud of this in any way or even making light of it, but if the before mentioned scenario happens I want to lead all of my fans back to this very first post where I pulled all of my own skeletons out of the closet. I hope to one day see all of you at a book signing or one of my stadium speaking tours, but until then I hope you will just follow along with my life of grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, child rearing and child taxi service whimsy.
Now comment already or I'll kick your f'ing teeth in.......TOTALLY JUST KIDDING!!! I would never actually say that......well unless I knew you well.....or was really mad......OMG, I really do need to clean up my act.
